And What of Fiona?
by phaedraphelan
Summary: What will happen between Sherlock and Fiona and will it work? And how will Joan react in her heart to all of this?
1. Chapter 1

**And What of Fiona?**

 **By phaedraphelan**

 **2,200 words**

 **Summary: How does Joan really feel about Sherlock getting involved with Fiona? Is she as casual about it as she seems? And why is Sherlock drawn to Fiona? Is he really trying to avoid facing his true feelings for Joan?**

 **Disclaimer: "Elementary" is the artistic property of CBS and no infringement is intended.**

 **When Sherlock and Joan met Fiona shortly before the "Doomsday Preppers Bunkers case," it had not been that long after his relapse. He was just regaining his footing in a sense, and trying to overcome the deep sense of shame at his failure in that instance. This was in particular true in regards to Joan, the one he loved more than anyone. He felt more than ever like damaged goods, unworthy of the love of someone like Joan and somehow a kindred spirit with Fiona the obviously neuro-atypical woman who had attracted him. It did not occur to Sherlock in all his brilliance that during his association with Joan he had become a man who needed the full expression of emotion in his se** **xual encounters, that being cuddled tenderly in Joan's bosom could be the one thing that would calm his jangled nerves and bring him the soothing peace in his spirit that he so desperately craved.**

 **But when Sherlock and Fiona came together, it had been the most perfunctory sexual experience he could have imagined and Sherlock was left lying in his bed, still in need long after Fiona had left him emotionally, which she did immediately following her climax. At first she had simply drawn as far away as possible from him on his bed.**

 **"I must leave now, Sherlock. Please do not call me again," she finally said in her matter-of-fact and detached manner as she got off his bed, quickly dressed and did leave in fact.**

 **Fiona was really incapable of giving more than she had given to Sherlock. The variant of Asberger's syndrome that plagued her caused** **her freeze up emotionally after coitus. In fact, she found herself totally repelled at the thought of further physical contact with him.**

 **Sherlock lay stunned on his bed, trying to fathom what had just happened. Finally he got up, took a shower, then went down to the kitchen, made a cup of tea and sat down to drink it in front of the fireplace, reflecting on what had transpired with Fiona earlier.**

 **It was nearly midnight when he heard Joan quietly open the front door and come in. She came to a start when she saw Sherlock sitting alone in front of the fire in his robe and sweat pants.**

 **"Sherlock! I thought you were having company this evening. I wanted to give you space."**

 **"Come in, Watson."**

 **Joan came into the room and, at the same time, quickly took Sherlock in with a penetrating stare from her dark eyes.**

 **"I am quite alone, Joan. I . . . must say that events of the early evening were carried out in what can only be understood as a 'cut-and-dried' manner for want of any other description. I now realize it was a serious miscalculation on my part to think that I could forge a connection with Fiona. She used my body member** **and then she left without so much as a fare thee well."**

 **"I'm sorry . . . very sorry." Joan was stunned. "I guess you want to be alone, so I will go along to bed."**

 **She turned to leave the room and go up the stairs, unable to process exactly how she felt at this turn of events but then she heard Sherlock's voice, husky with emotion calling her by her given name again.**

 **"Joan . . . would you please come here to me?"**

 **Joan slowly walked toward him till she stood facing him and Sherlock stared up at her, his blue-green eyes open and searching as he took her hand in his and held it and kissed it softly, first on back, and then turned it so that he could kiss her palm. The sensation the swept through Joan at that moment was unlike anything she had ever experienced.**

 **"I'm sorry. I just feel the need for genuine human contact right now."**

 **Joan Looked directly at Sherlock and saw that his eyes were full of unshed tears."**

 **"I deserve no consideration from you in this matter, Joan, but I remember your saying that you felt like hugging me several weeks ago when we were involved in the Bella case. I rebuffed you then, but it was not because I did not want that hug. I desperately wanted it then. And I want it now. I need that hug, Joan. Would you please . . . hug me?"**

 **Joan hesitated for a long moment and then wrapped her arms around Sherlock to hold him in her arms. The other two occasions when they had hugged had been awkward moments . . . once when Sherlock hugged her briefly after she had been released from her Le Milieu kidnappers two years previous, the second time when Joan hugged Sherlock when they found that he would not be prosecuted over the injuries inflicted upon Oscar Rankin.**

 **This hug was different. Neither of them held back as Joan held Sherlock closer to her than she had ever held him. Her hand came up as she caught her fingers in his still damp hair and she became supremely conscious of the clean personal manly scent of him faintly mingled with the scent of the sandalwood fragrance he wore. And Sherlock inhaled deeply and gasped, equally stunned as the smell of Joan's hair and skin, a scent that he already knew so well that was Joan, mixed with the scent of her Mitsouko perfume and merged with the softness of her arms around him, the warmth of her embrace surpassing his most vivid imaginings. Sherlock sighed as he drew her even closer to his body, so that she found herself straddling his legs.**

 **"You . . . you have me at a disadvantage here, Sherlock," she said as Sherlock's hands wandered over her body.**

 **"Please do not reject my humble efforts to woo you. I am in uncharted territory here."**

 **"I am not rejecting you. I cannot reject you."**

 **"Dear God, Joan . . . Dear God," he murmured into her ear. "Forgive me. Please forgive me for not knowing, for thinking that any other woman than you could be what I need."**

 **His hands continued to tentatively search all over her body, but then he reluctantly sat back and released her.**

 **"Sherlock . . . I . . ."**

 **Joan clasped her cheeks and found herself flushing deeply in response to the physical contact they had just experienced.**

 **"I am sorry. I fear that I may have encroached upon you in a way that I have purposely sought to avoid during all the time we have known each other. I esteem you more highly than anyone else in the world, Joan. I know that I love you. . . even as I know that I am totally unworthy of you."**

 **"I do not view you as unworthy, Sherlock."**

 **Their eyes met as now Joan leaned toward Sherlock, took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly on his lips. Sherlock groaned from deep inside himself as his lips opened to claim Joan's lips as they had never been claimed before. He kissed the inside of each of her lips, opening up her mouth as Joan kissed him back; then they were quickly overwhelmed, kissing hungrily, desperately, tasting each other, nipping each other's lips, breathing each other in, breaking their kisses only when they had to gasp for breath and then only to kiss again, the copious distillations of their mouths blending completely in an intoxicating mixture.**

 **"Oh, God, Joan! Joan!"**

 **As his passions escalated, Sherlock drew Joan up onto his chest continuing to kiss her cheeks over and over, and then her neck, his slender fingertips finding, rubbing and squeezing her breasts through her clothes.**

 **"Yes, Sherlock! Yes!"**

 **Joan quickly pulled her sweater open so that Sherlock could find her breasts. When he saw her bare breasts, he gasped at the sight of them and began to kiss them there as he rubbed her thighs through her skirt and then slid it up so that he could stroke her bare slender thighs before he drew off her shoes and tossed them aside.**

 **"Push me away, Joan. Please push me away if you do not want this!"**

 **"I cannot push you away. I don't want to push you away, baby!" Joan murmured. "I think I've always wanted you."**

 **Joan pushed his robe open and off his shoulders and buried her face in the thick curly hair on his chest, inhaling the scent of him, as they clung together.**

 **They were suddenly gone . . . lost in some of the most passionate love expressions either of them had ever experienced.**

 **"Joan . . . Joan, I love you, your lips, your face, your body! Oh, God, my God, woman! I am in agony for you."**

 **"I know . . . I know! Kiss me again, Sherlock!"**

 **"I want you. I admit it, Joan. Oh, God, I love you so much."**

 **Sherlock scooped Joan up in his arms, carried her up the stairs to her bedroom as they continued to kiss passionately.**

 **When they got to Joan's room, they quickly undressed each other and lay down on her bed together.**

 **"Will you hold me, Joan, hold me tight? Hold me as tight as you can, luv," Sherlock begged as they lay facing each other in her bed.**

 **"Yes, Sherlock, yes! I'm here for you, baby!" Joan whispered, reaching for him, drawing him onto her.**

 **The next moments became a blur in their minds, a blur of touching and caressing and squeezing each other as they got to know each other completely as man and woman, finally coming together in an intercourse so powerful that they both saw stars, groaning and moaning as they rocked rhythmically together, racing to a climax so intense that they lost vision when it happened for them.**

 **"Oh, Sherlock! Sherlock!" Joan wailed. "Oooh! Yes! Yes, Sherlock!""**

 **"Joan! Woman!" Sherlock croaked in ecstasy in his moment of ejaculation.**

 **And then Sherlock felt Joan surrender completely to him, melting in his arms, capitulating, becoming in that moment his woman in the fullest sense of the word, holding Sherlock, tenderly kissing him over and over, running her fingers through his hair, cooing his name. Afterward Sherlock lay in her arms murmuring her name, their still joined bodies quivering passionately as the afterglow took hold of them. They had never imagined that their joining, so long delayed and avoided would be this stunning experience that left them panting and moaning in each other's arms.**

 **"How could we let so much time pass before we realized that this was going to happen," Sherlock whispered, between suckling at each of her breasts as they cuddled tenderly.**

 **"I don't know. I just know that I could not hold this back from you any longer."**

 **Joan and Sherlock clung to each other, weeping as they realized what had happened to them.**

 **"I couldn't tell you, but I was so hurt when you seemed to be falling for Fiona. I couldn't deny you Fiona if she would make you happy. But I wanted you so, Sherlock."**

 **"I wanted you as well, but I could never bring myself to offer myself to you. I am such a broken man, Joan."**

 **"But I love you so much. Do you know how much I love you?"**

 **"I believe that I do. I have loved you from the first day we met. And you have become even more beautiful every day. Don't you know that every day you become more ravishingly beautiful than the day before? I see you and you take my breath away."**

 **They kissed again and again, gently tasting and drinking from one another's lips till their passions were so stirred that they were suddenly reaching for the crest once more, sobbing as the brilliant lights of orgasm exploded in their brains.**

 **Sherlock wakened in the predawn hours with Joan wrapped around him from behind and he moaned softly as he basked in the sensation of being contained in her embrace this way. This was what he had craved for so long, what had been missing from his life.**

 **"Um, Sherlock . . . Baby, are you all right?" Joan wakened, responding instantly.**

 **"I'm perfect, Joan. Just . . . just sleeping with your arms around me like this."**

 **They quickly dropped off again and did not waken till morning.**


	2. Chapter 2

**And What of Fiona?**

 **Chapter two**

 **By phaedraphelan**

 _ **Summary: This is Sherlock and Joan coming to terms with the fact that they are passionately in love with each other. Shameless Joanlock pure and simple is what you will get.**_

 ** _Disclaimer: "Elementary" is the artistic property of CBS, and no infringement is intended_.**

 **Sherlock and Joan wakened the next day to the realization that their relationship had changed completely. Sherlock lay in bed listening to Joan snore ever so softly upon his chest and he was brought to tears. He had for so long kept himself from acknowledging the depth of his feelings for her that now it was as if a dam had burst releasing a flood of emotions that he had never allowed himself to experience.**

 **Sherlock caught his breath sharply as his flesh reacted to Joan upon his chest and she wakened with a start. Sherlock smoothed her long dark hair tenderly from her face and drew her closer even to him.**

 **"Joan, luv, I am at a loss for words now, holding you like this. I am helpless in the face of my feelings for you. Do you know that?"**

 **"Yes, Sherlock, I know. I love you too. I have loved you for so long."**

 **Joan lifted her head so that she could look into Sherlock's eyes and she saw all the love in his eyes as he stared into hers and smiled that crooked smile she loved so much as Sherlock drew her up onto him so that he could claim her mouth for himself.**

 **"We truly got carried away last night, didn't we? I had wanted you for so long. I tried to hold myself back, to keep from touching you because I knew that the moment I did I would be lost in my desire for you. And I am lost, lost in my love, my passion. Oh, God, woman, I needed to be with you in the worst way for so long! I guess that is why I turned to someone like Fiona . . . when I really needed and wanted only you. And when I heard you crying out my name at that moment when it happened for you, I knew I had found what I have been searching for all of my life."**

 **Joan and Sherlock kissed now, over and over, and she climbed onto him and their bodies easily joined again and they began to rock together, moaning softly with each thrust.**

 **"Oh, Sherlock . . . Sherlock . . . Yes! Yes!**

 **Sherlock and Joan lost the ability to speak as they continued to rock in the timeless rhythm of procreation. They were in another dimension, unaware of the sun just beginning to stream in through their window, unaware of the city coming to life outside the brownstone, unaware of anything except the power of the passion that had been pent up for so long inside them and that had now found a release. If anyone had been in that quiet house with them at that moment it would have been impossible to ignore the sounds of their cries of joy as Sherlock spilled into Joan.**

 **"Sherlock! Oh, Sherlock! Oooh!"**

 **"Yes! Yes! Woman, yes!"**

 **They suddenly saw explosions like brilliant sunspots in their brains as the summit crashed over them and their bodies were wracked with spasm after spasm till Joan went limp in Sherlock's arms in complete capitulation as he cooed her name over and over while his pelvis continued to jerk rhythmically till the passion finally released its grip on them.**

 **Hours later Joan awakened to the smell of coffee brewing. She was unable to move at first, so fatigued from his vigorous use of her that she simply lay quietly in her bed as she began to mentally reconstruct the series of events that had brought them to that point.**

 **It had happened so quickly, the powerful awakening of the sensual connection between them. One minute they were observing the usual reserve between them, the tight rope that they had walked so carefully for so long that had kept them from reaching out to satisfy the need that had been steadily building within them, and now the passion had surged inside them suddenly without warning despite all of their efforts to suppress it. When Sherlock had taken her hand and kissed it, Joan had melted inside from the heat in the pit of her belly, and it had been all over. When he drew her into his arms and she felt the length of his body against hers, it was all over in that moment.**

 **Sherlock had been everything she had imagined as a lover, and even more than she could have imagined. . . tender and gentle, but then wildly passionate when he carried her up the stairs to her room to lie down with her. All the unspoken words held back for so long tumbled out in a flood of love expressions from his lips.**

 **When Joan opened her thighs to accept him, they both cried out for the joy and sheer beauty of it. They had realized at the moment of their coming together that they were perfectly matched sexually. There was no deficit, no need that was not met as their parts joined, and they found indescribable pleasure in the rhythm of coitus.**

 **Joan's eyes filled with tears as she remembered the moment when it happened for her, when that rollercoaster ride Sherlock took her on seemed to become airborne and she saw all the stars of the Milky Way exploding in her brain. And she remembered what came after, that very thing that had escaped her all her adult life, that moment of complete surrender to her man, that moment when her capitulation was so total that she could only wail out his name over and over as he gasped and snorted like a wild horse in her arms.**

 **Sherlock had reluctantly left Joan in her bed and gone downstairs to make coffee. He had wanted to stay in her bed, in her arms, but he suddenly realized the full import of what had happened to them the night before, what had really been happening ever since he met Joan. That realization shook him to his foundations. The thought that he might have missed the discovery that his dear Watson was to be the love of his life literally terrified him.**

 **Fiona had been a distraction, nothing more. He knew that dreams of making love to Joan had plagued his dreams ever since he came back from his period of self-exile in London the previous year, but he had tried to simply charge them up to his basic physical needs as a man and had refused to recognize his specific desire for Joan as the centerpiece. But any attempt to relieve the sexual pressure he felt had done nothing to alter the persistent pull he felt from deep in his soul toward Joan.**

 **Now, as Sherlock searched for Joan's favorite coffee beans and proceeded to make their morning coffee, his mind was deluged with sensations of such pure pleasure surging through him that he was forced to stop what he was doing.**

 **"Dear God, I'm done for here . . . completely done for."**

 **He sat down, shaken, unable to continue, his flesh crying out for the embrace of the woman whose bed he had left a short time earlier. He remembered lying in her bosom earlier, suckling at her breasts as she cherished him in her arms.**

 **Finally Sherlock got up from the table, finished making the coffee and carried a tray bearing the coffee and scones along with huge fresh strawberries and a dish of clotted cream up to Joan's bedroom. Joan was sitting up on her bed, twisting her long hair into two braids, the sheet drawn across her lap, but nothing covering her bare torso. When Sherlock entered the room, she instinctively reached to pull the sheet up to cover herself, very aware of Sherlock's eyes widened in a passionate stare, his nostrils flaring gently as he inhaled the scent of her.**

 **"Please don't cover yourself from me, luv. I apologize for staring, but I am unable to help myself at this moment. As long as I have known you, I have never seen you more beautiful."**

 **They were both still for a long moment regarding one another in this new context in which they found themselves. Then Joan smiled tenderly and dropped the sheet from her breasts.**

 **"Come here, Sherlock, and sit beside me," she said, patting the spot beside her on her bed.**

 **Sherlock put the tray down and sat beside her, never letting his penetrating stare leave her and Joan reached to touch him, first smoothing his tousled hair and then caressing his lips with just her fingertips. Sherlock caught her hand up and kissed her fingers and then pressing his face to her open palm inhaled the scent of her soft skin.**

 **"How did we not know? How did you allow me to go on a wild goose chase after Fiona when you felt this way?"**

 **"I didn't dare let myself want you this way, Sherlock. I have always loved you, but I fought these feelings inside me. I was afraid you did not share my feelings. I tried. I tried to love you as a brother, but it has always been more than that with me."**

 **"And the feelings I have had for so long, my dearest Watson. I do love you . . . not in that filial sense that we have both tried so hard to maintain, but passionately, madly, as a man whose heart and belly is on fire for the woman who is the love of his life. I see you now, dearest Joan, and I am like a twenty-year old who is experiencing adult love for the first time and I am in such a state here. Do you see the state you have me in now?"**

 **Joan nodded and welcomed him into her arms and they began to kiss each other's lips all over again, at first gently, tenderly, tasting each other's mouths.**

 **"Coffee . . . getting cold, luv," Sherlock said between kisses, but he was overwhelmed by the sensation of Joan's hands reaching under his old worn tee shirt to feel his heart beating for her, continuing to get to know the feel of his body that belonged to her now in the fullest sense.**

 **When Joan pushed down his sweat pants so that she could embrace his muscular hips and pull him onto her to welcome him inside her again, their emotions completely captured them, and their kisses became more impassioned, more insistent.**

 **"We can drink cold coffee, can't we? Oh, Sherlock, I do need you so," Joan murmured as they rapidly became lost in each other.**

 **"Your hair . . . your beautiful hair . . . I need to put my hands in your hair," Sherlock said as he loosened her braids so that Joan's dark hair was set free again.**

 **"Sherlock! Yes, baby!"**

 **"Oh, dear God! Joan! Joan!" Sherlock cried in anguish as they came together and that special and peculiar pressure began to build in his pelvis that signaled that his release was imminent. "Oh, Joanie! My sweetheart! I love you so much! Every moment . . . every day of my life I confess that I had to fight to quell my lust for you."**

 **"Take whatever you want now, whatever you need! Just don't stop, Sherlock! Yes . . .yes!"**

 **They were completely engaged in the act of love, groaning and crying out to each other, caught up in the rhythm of coitus, saying all the things that they had held back in their hearts for so long . . . love words that flooded in a torrent from their lips as they moved in the timeless synchrony of perfectly matched lovers.**

 **When the climax surged over them, they quickly became incoherent, gasping and sobbing as spasm after spasm seized and held them in its grip as fireworks exploded simultaneously in their brains till Joan capitulated, melting in Sherlock's embrace as he continued to kiss her over and over while she trembled in his arms, her hands gripping and rubbing his shoulders as she clung to him.**

 **Finally Sherlock kissed her open mouth again before he finally rolled off her to lie beside her, just holding onto her hand, looking into her eyes watching the passion in her eyes slowly ebb.**

 **"I always thought you would be like this, luv," Sherlock whispered.**

 **"Like what, Sherlock?" Joan whispered, blushing under his gaze.**

 **"Passionate beyond my wildest imagination!"**

 **"Then why didn't you do something about it?"**

 **"I didn't think myself worthy of you, milady," Sherlock said quietly.**

 **"But you knew that you had what I needed, didn't you, Sherlock?"**

 **"It had crossed my mind more than once. I began to find myself lying in bed every night wanting you. I thought when Fiona came into the picture I could perhaps find what I had been needing so desperately with her. I was sadly mistaken. I need to be held in the bosom of the woman I love. I need to suckle and be cuddled, Joan."**

 **Sherlock lifted himself up so that he could kiss Joan's dainty nipples with his lips as Joan clasped his head to her breasts while he suckled there to his heart's content as he lay comfortably in Joan's arms.**

 **"Sherlock, I think I want to drink this coffee you brought. And those scones, are they from that special bakery?"**

 **"Well, I really thought Fiona would stay for breakfast. Imagine that? There are also fresh strawberries with clotted cream."**

 **Sherlock dipped one of the huge strawberries into the clotted cream and put it into Joan's mouth.**

 **"Umm, umm," Joan murmured.**

 **Her mouth was full of strawberry but the next thing Sherlock was kissing her and they were sharing the sweet juicy strawberry together. Then they playfully fed each other pieces of the marvelous buttery scones. Joan squealed when Sherlock dropped a dollop of the clotted cream on her midriff and then kissed and licked it off as she giggled softly. Then Joan dipped two of her fingers into the clotted cream and put them both into Sherlock's mouth so he could suck the cream off as she explored the inside of his mouth with her fingertips.**

 **"Sherlock, I didn't know you had mandibular tori," Joan said as she found and massaged the bony formations she had discovered in the floor of his mouth.**

 **"Woman, where did you learn to do that?" Sherlock groaned happily, writhing passionately as Joan pleasured him in her own unique way**

 **"I don't know, Sherlock. I never wanted to do that to anyone but you. I love your mouth, your lips."**

 **"And I love you. God! I love you, Joan!" Sherlock cried, drawing her into a hug in his arms that took her breath away.**


End file.
